Past Pains

<My Secret>
was meant to sing to you.

"....
我們之間的距離 好像忽遠又忽近
你明明不在我身邊 我卻覺得很親
Ha~ 有一種感覺我想說明
我心裡的秘密 是你給的甜蜜

我們之間的距離好像一點點靠近
是不是你對我也有一種特殊感情
Ha~ 我猶豫要不要告訴你
我心裡的秘密是我好像喜歡了你
...."

BUT, I was wrong . Very very wrong.
The sound of the pain its like hearing a very large glass falling down and crashed to the ground.
The unwilling-ness to believe what I just saw and wat I just heard, every single word, from you.

After that, driving back home.  I dont know how to describe my feelings, its like, thousands of your voices in my mind. It was the words and sentences you told me. Repeating and repeating, again and again.... asking god, " Why GOD? Why him again ? Why ? Why ? WHY ??"

I can still remember the pain back then. Until today, I was listening to 林峰's 《爱不疚》，I realized the lyrics, its just how I felt , on that whole week.

"...
收藏在眼眸 常徘徊左右 爱 猜到没有   [We see each other almost everyday, can u believe it turned out this way ?]
愉快玩笑後 能全然退後 你 开心就够   [After what u told me, I'll smile and be happy for you, as long as u felt the same way too]
这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够   [I cant explain the tacit that we have together, no words can.]
假使讲了 你听到後或会走      [ If I ever told u how I feel for you, would you leave ? I dont want to take this risk of losing a friend like you]
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有    [What you're having now, its a miracle. I cant stop you ,right?]
成全 衷心祝福然後就放手    [The only thing I can say to u is, I wish u to be as happy as always.]
放手 放开所有 彼此更自由   
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友  
已经 已经足够
遥远是宇宙 静静在背後 去看守就够
这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动 挽你手   
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有
成全 多舍不得仍然 是放手
放手 放开所有 彼此更自由
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友
已经 已经足够
放手 我的牵挂 找不到尽头
放手 期望你幸福甚麽都有
也许 爱很深厚 然而我早看得透
放手 至可拥有
..."

I cant really tell you the pain I had after u told me. I wish I could tell you everything without worrying how will u think of me. U're a special friend to me, and I dont wish to do anything risky that will lead our friendship into an end. That's way, I decided not to tell you anything.

U said I can talk to you about anything anytime, actually Im really happy and again, satisfied. 
Why?
Because U make me understand, Im not just a listener to you, and Im also a special friend to you too :)
That's the least I felt comforted about in our friendship. I understand we would never go pass any relationship further than friendship. But that's really more than enough for me.

 Im glad, that I met someone like you :)

我放手了，你懂吗？
记得要好好守护这段爱哦 :D
我，衷心祝你们幸福  :)