"Hello Hsin Yang. It's been a long time hasn't it? I want to say a few things so here we go.. Sorry for not messaging you earlier I've been meaning to send you a text but ran out of credit also scared on what will happen but ya know what? I shouldn't be I wanted us to be friends. still wanting us to be but after I told you that... I thought it would be best for you to forget me though i realized It might be hard for you to forget since we were in love for quite awhile, Those times were like heaven to me and yes I do know its all reality okay? I known it from the start, I was that ready to fall but at the end when it all ended guess I didn't ready my self for that huh? I know i should of told you things earlier in the relationship instead of being scared but that's in the past and I know i can't change any of it, Also I know I shouldn't say this but I'm not over you yet lol I've been missing ya dearly. but I don't know if I can make you smile like back than. I hope you find that star, You're beautiful star that will protect you forever and ever ~ Like the way I should of... ANYWAYS Hope you been having a great time and if there is anything you need to get off your chest then tell me, You know all of this time you could of sent me a text and I would of rushed and found a way to text you back! Haha If you need a helping hand, or anything just ask Ok Ok Now How have ya been? Hope good ? Did you have a safe flight? like you didn't say anything so I was worried shitless x'D have you been eating right? Cause while we were dating it looked like you were taking dieting way to seriously but you wouldnt stop when I told you xI you looked way to skinny, also some of your bones were sticking out which kinda frighted me abit UHM and hows school?, met new people? there was something else i cant remember... what was it ahh whatever if you still wanna keep talking, we could always continue this conversation another time right? /with Lov... FROM jack min hara\"
I felt instantly depressed. I cried. For a long 10 minutes.
Memories flashed back. Yes I never forget why I left at the first place, but the feelings of why I'll fall for him is way more stronger than why I left him.
Kira's out today. And she'll not be back until who knows what time. She told me not to wait up.
With that message stuck in my head? What should I do about it?
I dont know. Im lost. Im confused.
I talked to Phyl and Wynd, they both said the same thing, do what's best for you and do what makes you happy. Phyl said take things slow with either Jack or Kira. If I move too fast it'll end up like him and Kelvin.
What do I want at this very moment?
I want to throw away everything I have and be alone. Shut my mind, shut my soul, shut my feelings out.
Am I sure?
No. That's my problem. I couldnt make up my mind, I couldnt decide what's best for me or what I want.
Will I make another mistake again?
I dont know. I dont want to think about it. I dont dare to predict.
Who does your heart tells you to go to?
I dont know. The feelings towards Jack is like, hatred but there's still a slight caring for him clinging on to me. Telling me it's worth a second try, he was the one that see through me completely afterall.
And Kira is the most precious thing that's ever happened to me, she's intelligent , understanding, funny , cute, she knows me, she knows what I want. She's good in analyzing complicated situations. I lose her once and it felt like I've fell into a pit. Now that we got back together its like Im going to lose her all over again..
***
Jack,
I want to say:
Sorry I'm not sorry for the timesI don't reply
You know the reason why
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad
Tired of getting so mad, baby
Stop right now
You'll only let me down, oh oh
#demilovato #shouldntcomeback
and
Why'd you call me today with nothing new to say?
You pretend it's just hello, but you know what it does to me to see your number on the phone.Now tell me, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want from me?
Are you tryin' to bring back the tears or just the memories?
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
When we hang up it's almost like I'm losing you again.
Can't you see? So what do you want, what do you want from me?
#jerrodniemann #whatdoyouwant
****
Kira,
I want to say:
The day I first met youYou told me you'd never fall in love
But now that I get you
I know fear is what it really was
Now here we are, so close
Yet so far, how didn't I passed the test?
When will you realize
That baby, I'm not like the rest?
Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared, it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait To waste
So let me give your heart a break
Give your heart a break
***
Why do you have to come back when Im just about to get over you...?
Why is it so hard to get over you..
Why must there always be things that'll interrupt in between us?
Why cant they just let me love you peacefully and not reminding me how much scars I have in the pass?
... Why? ...
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