Happenings + Second page of Love

There we go again, blog update time. This time, a little different.
This time, I'm in United Kingdom (UK) :)
Pursuing my next level of education, taking up the next level of challenge in life . I couldn't be more blessed and grateful to be actually sitting right here in my hostel room, blogging like this.

We're talking about UK, the currency rate is like, 5.2%. We all know, how much that cost us, and I'm hell lucky to have this chance, to be here right now.

So, everything over here is fine so far, its just the 3rd day , and I bet I can get use to it sooner or later.
Homesick? Nope, not really that I noticed yet. But when I'm Skyping with my family, they showed me my dogs, my baby Sky ♥ , I just cried all of a sudden. Don't compliment, I know its not fair to my parents or brothers, hahaha... well, I guess that's most probably what I'll do.

I'm always keeping the smile on my face in front of my parents and my brothers, that's the only way to not let them worried about me so much. I know I can't say things like nothing will happen here, or like you guys are just worrying to much. No that's what bitches do , but I'm a bitch with kindness and brains, so yeah. LOL (I did not just said that , WTF xD)

Anyways, I can cook my own, I can handle myself so far, the only problem is, mixing around with the locals here. Like my flat-mate.

Her name is Amreen, she's going to be studying Fashion Design, and she's kinda like a mix ( According to her) , and I'm not going into detailed to that, I'll just skip/ She's only 18, and she goes out every night. Yes, EVERY NIGHT. Where did she go ? Partying of course, going out to other rooms, going down to bars and puds nearby, hanging out with people there. I was like, Are you sure you know what you're up against with? She said " Yeah ! I'm in Bristol ! Gotta keep the party up ! " So what can I say more? its not my business that I know. She came back late nights, I do not even know when or what is the specific time to be precise, and she woke up like 12-1pm every morning UK time.

It's fine, I told her. Because she thought she was bothering me . She was going in and out of the hostel and making door noises. I'm an easy going person, so no big deal. I don't mind really, in fact, I kinda liked it too, I'm having more of my privacy time :)

Weather in UK is okay so far, sometimes its blowing cooling wind, and sometimes it's just cool air, and plus now its sorta like the raining season.

To be honest, I love to join the parties they're having every day, every night. But I'm alone and my confident level is like nearly to 0%. I don't want to get any racist look or awkward eye sights from others, I mean I know how it works to communicate with people but, I'm just not the too out going type. I'm actually kinda shy , lol . I'll only feel comfortable with places where people couldn't see me, that way, I can reveal what's really kicking inside of me.

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Alright, let's see how it's going in the love story of mine ♥
It's already been 2 months since we dated, 3 more days then it's our 3rd month. I can't really believe its already been 3 months. I thought it wont last for 2 weeks at first.  xD

He's treating me really nice, and no doubt I can really feel his love. I don't really know what or how, but just, it's like he's trying to convince me into trusting him a little more, be a little more reliable on him than I was before, he's trying to get everything out of me I can say.

But still, its an online relationship, and I myself know, that online relationships, aren't really meant to be beautiful at the end.

Maybe he's the special for me that I can never deny about it. I don't trust him, but I trust his love for me. One bad thing about him is that, he wouldn't expose or express more of himself to me, and I don't really know why. I'm opening up more and more to you, but it's really dissapointed and said to know that I'm not the person you want to share yourself with.

Why ?
He's always asking me why every time I asked him something. Does that mean he don't trust me ?
If he trusted me, he shouldn't have ask me more about what I want to know, right ?

I know he's not revealing himself to me, but I kinda feel like he's trying to, just one at a time.
And seriously, he treat this relationship so preciously , that I didn't even have the intention to be mad at him about everything.

Why can't he want me more? If he really wants me to be part of his life, why wouldn't he show me his effort and convince me more ? It's not like I'll fall for another person. I may flirt a lot but flirting and falling in love is a hell two different kind of things we're talking about.

I know I liked him a lot, more than I could even imagine. If one day he let me know everything of this happening right now is a fake, I swear I'll hate him for the rest of my life and I can never trust anyone in love again. I may look strong, but deep down I'm still a girl with a soft heart, which can be easily break.
I'm scared. I don't know whether to really trust him? or just let time play our role? I'm not confident about myself, am I worth loving to him ? Do I deserve everything he said to me ? Can I trust him this time?

Thank you for letting him into my life, I have never felt this great before until I met him. He's not perfect, but I have a feeling that he'll be perfect for me.

Don't give up Ven :D Tell me he's worth it ♥