Throwing this friendship away

When people make you feel unwanted, dont leave to make them feel sad or guilty, they wont. Leave because you no longer have a reason to stay. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. What's meant to be will end up good and what's not wont. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you cant be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they dont, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.

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As said, I was still mad after what happened with Dan and I. I was the blame for everything that happened in between us, he said.

Well, I made my choices, since he longer cherish this relationship, nor even our friendship, this time I'll be the one throwing him away.

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Hey Dan,

If you ever have the chance to see this, I just wanted to let you know,

You wont be the one throwing me away, cause I'll be the one throwing you away this time.
I hesitated for a while whether to give us a chance or to give myself some more time to think about it.
Call me stubborn , foolish, naive, just call me whatever you want, probably that's just me.

Although Jack and I met online, and went into "dating". Online dating then into a relationship I thought we were to be -- "Long-distance relationship". I wouldnt have noticed it doesnt count as a "long distance relationship" if both side hasnt "met" in real/in person yet. Just like Jack and I. But one thing I know is, the time I spend talking to him, online, on Facebook, on Whatsapp, on whatever social media we could think of, those stories and topics we shared werent false. Those emotional times, arent made-up, it's not an illusion , its not a "brain-wash" type of feeling, nor "hypnotized/mixed/confused/unclear" feeling, which YOU, define it as "fake-relationship". I do love him, I did thought of a future with him, no matter how impossible it would look / sound like. Non of my friends and family , including you, ever encourages my relationship with Jack, because they knew it wouldnt work. I hold on to him for so long, its not because "its too late to say no" , its because I can tell how much I meant to him. I know he loves me a lot, even though now we broke up, yes we BROKE UP. I DID had a relationship with him for a year, so there IS something call "break up" in between us.

After the break up, I still believe he did loved me for real, coz the patience he has for me, the care he gave to me, the love he shared with me, those werent fake, no matter how clever his disguise ( if he is hiding) is, there's no way he would share this much secret and emotions with me throughout this whole year of relationship. 

I really dont like the way you see Jack, your disrespectful attitude towards him. You have no right to judge him that way and he doesnt deserve to be said this way. I hate it when you always bring up something about him and put the blame on me for being stupid for believing him.

What do you know about him? You dont. So dont judge.

You said I always hold on to my phone when we hangout, of course I have to, he is still a person and by that time Jack and I were still together. You took my phone away when his message came up, you tried stopping me from checking, why? Is it because it's unfair to you because we were "hanging out" and Im focusing on ?MY ONLINE BOYFRIEND? If you're jealous just say so, dont act like a kid trying to "make things clear" to me on whats going on with Jack and I.

You said you like me and I was happy to know that. I never ever see you as a second choice, I did thought of starting a relationship with you but you were too impatient to go along with me even our friendship. You are smart, funny, strong, caring, and so much more Im still looking forward to see. Just because I had an "online relationship" during the time we met, you put two things together and mixed my online relationship with our friendship together and make things look ugly in between us. By calling me naive and ignorant towards MY online relationship situation.

Seriously its my business , why do you want to care so much about it? Does it bother you because you like me? or does it bother you because someone else from the other side of the world has my heart and not yours? If so what on earth are you jealous about ?  You had the chance to hangout with me but my so-called boyfriend from across the world wouldnt even Skype me on webcam. Itsnt it clear enough for you? Its obvious you stand a larger chance to be with me , IF YOU FUCKING TRY HARDER.

You fool. You idiotic, impatient, your intolerance attitude, blew this chance. 

I tried to save this friendship. I made a move. Did you do anything ? besides blaming me and pointing out all the problems instead of making a solution. Doing something , fight for something you want, have you ?

No. All you do is get interested in people whenever you're bored and throw them away when you're done with them.

Dont wait for something to happen, fight for something if you really want it. You'll lose your chances and regret the rest of your life one day.

Im not anybody to you, Im just a passer by at this point to you. But you'll forever be a "somebody" to me even if our friendship only existed in our memories. You showed me maturity, you showed me security, you showed me intimacy, I can never forget that even if its just a short period of time.  Dont be scared to fight for something you love, dont see everything in a logical way, life would be much more hopeful if you dare to step forward first instead of waiting for them to respond.

Things does change if you stay positive.Good luck with finding another person in your life.

Loved,
Lucky Star :')

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