Just came back from Singapore with family. This trip (actually it doesn't even count as a trip) was not as organize as it sound/look like. You see, my dad was sending some goods down to a Singapore company, and we BARELY reach on time ( 5 minutes till the off work time). After that, we dont know where els to go . so used my Bro's 920 for some advice on where to go . Who knows, half way on the road, his phone when out of battery and we're all lost ! Turn round and round to find a place we know/heard before so that we could get to my aunt's place for a stay over (1 night).............
but above all that , isn't the main point of this post and it has nothing to do with the topic.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally, back home. Get to online, Facebook, checking mails, IMVU-ing.
Twitter, no special updates.
Facebook, 50+ notifications, checked. Reply all the messages ; Liked all the posts that are suppose to be Liked.
Gmail, Raffles hasnt reply anything yet. ( The Singapore Raffles)
IMVU, some friends said he would be online but he's not. No updates too.
When I was scrolling down Facebook, looking at friend's daily happenings, makes me feel so unfulfilled all of a sudden. They have so many things going on, photos everywhere, statuses again and again, love stories getting more dearing/lovely .
That was when I thought : What's up with MY LIFE then ?
Im done with my Diploma, Im not troubling any money issues, Im not in a hurry to work, Im not in need of love, I dont feel like Im alone, I can go anywhere I want in anytime.
BUT,
I know I need to search for universities to further my Degree course, I know I need to make my decisions by now, I know I need to sleep early and wake up early to get my time right on the clock again, I know I need to be clear on things I have to do, I know. Some part inside me it's like, trying to stop me from doing what I need to do now.
Im lazy to think of stuffs that I cant get the answer right away. My stupid brain will just ignore my problems and move on like nobodies business.
My life is some how, so FUCKED UP.
I, myself is FUCKED UP.
I need to make a change, I want to make a change, I HAVE TO CHANGE !
Should I stop IMVU for a while ?
Its not really bothering me, but it seems to be a habit for me to go online every night.
Should I start to sleep early?
I REALLY SHOULD, IM GOING TO DIE EARLY IF I STILL STAY UP THAT LATE.
Should I decide where to study by now ?
Hmm...tough question.
Raffles Singapore ? I think the course is what I need to study (but not I want to study)
MMU ? Nope, not under my list. Its like studying in a malay school.
LimKokWing ? The course is the same like Raffles Singapore, but the university itself makes me feel like Im going in there to waste my parent's money.
TheOneAcademy ? Actually I have my answer. I really think I have a high possibility to be studying there. Not the course that attracted me, its their study life-style. Pushing u to ur limits to improve. I need a really BIG PUSH to really improve myself. Like Jack, I can see his attitude towards his studies/interest. But if Im really going to further my degree in TheOne, what course should I actually take up ? It's like it would be a whole new level/type of study environment for me, facing totally different people compare to what I had been through in Saito .
Should I be more serious in the responsibilities Im having ?
I KNOW I SHOULD. Im taking too much sweet time for the 3D project Im doing with the guys, I know Im taking too much time. And my role in every freelance I take, I need to be more serious about it and make some commitment . I need to, I need to , I know I NEED TO.
...........What actually is bothering me right now ?
I start to love being alone. It sometimes irritates me when Im relaxing on my own and then someone coming up to kacau me. Im lazy to entertain , you know that. And now, I start to love shopping alone, because I can go out or come back when ever I want without worrying the time. Suddenly 1 call came up, and I have to do some plannings to suit up the time to meet up/go home.
What's wrong with me?
Im too LAZY to make a commitment on everything / to everyone.
**To Me: Please change yourself or els u're gonna be so dead in the future.**
Friday 28 December 2012
Saturday 1 December 2012
Past Pains
<My Secret>
was meant to sing to you.
"....
我們之間的距離 好像忽遠又忽近
你明明不在我身邊 我卻覺得很親
Ha~ 有一種感覺我想說明
我心裡的秘密 是你給的甜蜜
我們之間的距離好像一點點靠近
是不是你對我也有一種特殊感情
Ha~ 我猶豫要不要告訴你
我心裡的秘密是我好像喜歡了你
...."
BUT, I was wrong . Very very wrong.
The sound of the pain its like hearing a very large glass falling down and crashed to the ground.
The unwilling-ness to believe what I just saw and wat I just heard, every single word, from you.
After that, driving back home. I dont know how to describe my feelings, its like, thousands of your voices in my mind. It was the words and sentences you told me. Repeating and repeating, again and again.... asking god, " Why GOD? Why him again ? Why ? Why ? WHY ??"
I can still remember the pain back then. Until today, I was listening to 林峰's 《爱不疚》，I realized the lyrics, its just how I felt , on that whole week.
"...
收藏在眼眸 常徘徊左右 爱 猜到没有 [We see each other almost everyday, can u believe it turned out this way ?]
愉快玩笑後 能全然退後 你 开心就够 [After what u told me, I'll smile and be happy for you, as long as u felt the same way too]
这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够 [I cant explain the tacit that we have together, no words can.]
假使讲了 你听到後或会走 [ If I ever told u how I feel for you, would you leave ? I dont want to take this risk of losing a friend like you]
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有 [What you're having now, its a miracle. I cant stop you ,right?]
成全 衷心祝福然後就放手 [The only thing I can say to u is, I wish u to be as happy as always.]
放手 放开所有 彼此更自由
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友
已经 已经足够
遥远是宇宙 静静在背後 去看守就够
这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动 挽你手
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有
成全 多舍不得仍然 是放手
放手 放开所有 彼此更自由
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友
已经 已经足够
放手 我的牵挂 找不到尽头
放手 期望你幸福甚麽都有
也许 爱很深厚 然而我早看得透
放手 至可拥有
..."
I cant really tell you the pain I had after u told me. I wish I could tell you everything without worrying how will u think of me. U're a special friend to me, and I dont wish to do anything risky that will lead our friendship into an end. That's way, I decided not to tell you anything.
U said I can talk to you about anything anytime, actually Im really happy and again, satisfied.
Why?
Because U make me understand, Im not just a listener to you, and Im also a special friend to you too :)
That's the least I felt comforted about in our friendship. I understand we would never go pass any relationship further than friendship. But that's really more than enough for me.
Im glad, that I met someone like you :)
我放手了，你懂吗？
记得要好好守护这段爱哦 :D
我，衷心祝你们幸福 :)
was meant to sing to you.
"....
我們之間的距離 好像忽遠又忽近
你明明不在我身邊 我卻覺得很親
Ha~ 有一種感覺我想說明
我心裡的秘密 是你給的甜蜜
我們之間的距離好像一點點靠近
是不是你對我也有一種特殊感情
Ha~ 我猶豫要不要告訴你
我心裡的秘密是我好像喜歡了你
...."
BUT, I was wrong . Very very wrong.
The sound of the pain its like hearing a very large glass falling down and crashed to the ground.
The unwilling-ness to believe what I just saw and wat I just heard, every single word, from you.
After that, driving back home. I dont know how to describe my feelings, its like, thousands of your voices in my mind. It was the words and sentences you told me. Repeating and repeating, again and again.... asking god, " Why GOD? Why him again ? Why ? Why ? WHY ??"
I can still remember the pain back then. Until today, I was listening to 林峰's 《爱不疚》，I realized the lyrics, its just how I felt , on that whole week.
"...
收藏在眼眸 常徘徊左右 爱 猜到没有 [We see each other almost everyday, can u believe it turned out this way ?]
愉快玩笑後 能全然退後 你 开心就够 [After what u told me, I'll smile and be happy for you, as long as u felt the same way too]
这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够 [I cant explain the tacit that we have together, no words can.]
假使讲了 你听到後或会走 [ If I ever told u how I feel for you, would you leave ? I dont want to take this risk of losing a friend like you]
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有 [What you're having now, its a miracle. I cant stop you ,right?]
成全 衷心祝福然後就放手 [The only thing I can say to u is, I wish u to be as happy as always.]
放手 放开所有 彼此更自由
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友
已经 已经足够
遥远是宇宙 静静在背後 去看守就够
这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动 挽你手
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有
成全 多舍不得仍然 是放手
放手 放开所有 彼此更自由
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友
已经 已经足够
放手 我的牵挂 找不到尽头
放手 期望你幸福甚麽都有
也许 爱很深厚 然而我早看得透
放手 至可拥有
..."
I cant really tell you the pain I had after u told me. I wish I could tell you everything without worrying how will u think of me. U're a special friend to me, and I dont wish to do anything risky that will lead our friendship into an end. That's way, I decided not to tell you anything.
U said I can talk to you about anything anytime, actually Im really happy and again, satisfied.
Why?
Because U make me understand, Im not just a listener to you, and Im also a special friend to you too :)
That's the least I felt comforted about in our friendship. I understand we would never go pass any relationship further than friendship. But that's really more than enough for me.
Im glad, that I met someone like you :)
我放手了，你懂吗？
记得要好好守护这段爱哦 :D
我，衷心祝你们幸福 :)
Thursday 15 November 2012
"Eumy"
Odd right ? with a title "Eumy" ? haha..
this "Eumy", is actually a friend of mine, and guess what?
EUMY is a HE xD
Awesome right ??
He's one of the most unique and special type of friend I've ever met. Sometimes kinda weird too, but that's just his style ,and I liked it xD
I didnt get his permission to write this, coz I thought since its my blog, I can write anything I feel like blogging about , no hard feelings okay ? ;)
EUMY has a very special interest, compare to all the person I've known. He likes to act like a girl. In other words, Crossdressing , Male->Female/Female->Male.
Its hard for him to actually show his trueself (about those crossdressing and girly stuffs) to others/his friends, coz people might see him in a different way , good way, and bad way.
But I think its nice :) Chasing ur own interest, doing what u like to do, that's just the best feeling u can get for urself, the satisfaction xD
He gets emo sometimes, wanted to be a person everyone (instead of saying "like", he said :)wont hate.
But, nobody's perfect right ? If u want to be someone who people wont hate, meaning, u're not really being urself. if being urself will be hated by others, that's okay :) coz really, nobody's perfect xD
either tell them to "fuck off" or "wait and see what can I do "
Today, I saw his profile picture changed, so I went to stalk on his profile. I found out an album with his crossdressing photos, they are just... "wow, u did it xD" kinda feeling. haha, its nice, really :)
this "Eumy", is actually a friend of mine, and guess what?
EUMY is a HE xD
Awesome right ??
He's one of the most unique and special type of friend I've ever met. Sometimes kinda weird too, but that's just his style ,and I liked it xD
I didnt get his permission to write this, coz I thought since its my blog, I can write anything I feel like blogging about , no hard feelings okay ? ;)
EUMY has a very special interest, compare to all the person I've known. He likes to act like a girl. In other words, Crossdressing , Male->Female/Female->Male.
Its hard for him to actually show his trueself (about those crossdressing and girly stuffs) to others/his friends, coz people might see him in a different way , good way, and bad way.
But I think its nice :) Chasing ur own interest, doing what u like to do, that's just the best feeling u can get for urself, the satisfaction xD
He gets emo sometimes, wanted to be a person everyone (instead of saying "like", he said :)wont hate.
But, nobody's perfect right ? If u want to be someone who people wont hate, meaning, u're not really being urself. if being urself will be hated by others, that's okay :) coz really, nobody's perfect xD
either tell them to "fuck off" or "wait and see what can I do "
Today, I saw his profile picture changed, so I went to stalk on his profile. I found out an album with his crossdressing photos, they are just... "wow, u did it xD" kinda feeling. haha, its nice, really :)
I really like this Photo xD
Dont give up, be yourself :)
Monday 12 November 2012
Richard Rivalee
Last Monday, I was having breakfast with my parents in the coffee shop and I look at the newspaper on the table which has a big "Gay" word on it, so I took a look, wondering "Hmm, who's gay?"
"我是 Gay; Richard Rivalee 出櫃不可耻"
the title took my attention, so I just read a short paragraph about this RICHARD RIVALEE.
---------------------------~~
Malaysian-Penang Fashion Designer RICHARD RIVALEE, another admirer to me .Not only his talents, his creations, event his personality and attitude in life, really a role model to all GAYS.
RICHARD is a Thai+Chinese mix and was brought up by his father in Penang. Go google more for his background history x)
I admire his courage to announce that his gay to the public, as for yall know, homosexual is not recognize in Malaysia. Its really a very regrettable thing to all the homosexual friends in our country.
I dont know when, I start to see gays as an icon/idol, they are just, so awesome ! They have the talent, they have the money, they have the popularity, they have almost everything.
After I read RICHARD's story, I was impressed :D
go check out his story :)
"我是 Gay; Richard Rivalee 出櫃不可耻"
the title took my attention, so I just read a short paragraph about this RICHARD RIVALEE.
---------------------------~~
Malaysian-Penang Fashion Designer RICHARD RIVALEE, another admirer to me .Not only his talents, his creations, event his personality and attitude in life, really a role model to all GAYS.
RICHARD is a Thai+Chinese mix and was brought up by his father in Penang. Go google more for his background history x)
I admire his courage to announce that his gay to the public, as for yall know, homosexual is not recognize in Malaysia. Its really a very regrettable thing to all the homosexual friends in our country.
I dont know when, I start to see gays as an icon/idol, they are just, so awesome ! They have the talent, they have the money, they have the popularity, they have almost everything.
After I read RICHARD's story, I was impressed :D
go check out his story :)
Friday 9 November 2012
Hotel Transylvania
Watched <Hotel Transylvania> today xD
It was just, the best ever! Love the story (even its a lil out of logic, but cool) ! Love the characters ! Love the musics too !! xD
Dracula family rocks <333
It was just, the best ever! Love the story (even its a lil out of logic, but cool) ! Love the characters ! Love the musics too !! xD
Dracula family rocks <333
Ps: Must go download the ending part of the music ! LOVE IT FREAKIN SICK !! XD
"The Zing" ;) and more ~
Friday 26 October 2012
Welcome to DV.MYSTERY
Why is this blog created ?
I wanted to redesign my blog, which is the previous 30th Mansion ( http://no30thmansion.blogspot.com/ ) blog, but I need to sign in a different email, so I just use this new email to recreate a new one instead. maybe I'll post most of my latest updates here in this blog.
Why DV.MYSTERY ?
DV stands for Devil Vendelyne; Mystery stands for ... well doesnt involve any specific meaning/reasons, I just love the word mystery. coz Its actually refering to "Everything happen in the world is just like a mystery, design is also a mysterious element." something like that.
Why this theme and templete ?
Because, I think it suits the name = =''
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Well guys, I meant visitors, welcome again to my blog, I'll probably be "bitching" around soon, but not today :) Hope u have a nice day :)
I wanted to redesign my blog, which is the previous 30th Mansion ( http://no30thmansion.blogspot.com/ ) blog, but I need to sign in a different email, so I just use this new email to recreate a new one instead. maybe I'll post most of my latest updates here in this blog.
Why DV.MYSTERY ?
DV stands for Devil Vendelyne; Mystery stands for ... well doesnt involve any specific meaning/reasons, I just love the word mystery. coz Its actually refering to "Everything happen in the world is just like a mystery, design is also a mysterious element." something like that.
Why this theme and templete ?
Because, I think it suits the name = =''
--------------------------------------------------------
Well guys, I meant visitors, welcome again to my blog, I'll probably be "bitching" around soon, but not today :) Hope u have a nice day :)
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